The Diary
by DarkDemonGirl1985
Summary: It didn't really matter, 'cause no one will know anyway. It was all in his mind, and in his diary under the bed. The secret will stay safe there. Dooferry, Perryshmirtz, whatever ya call it. A 4-chapter fanfic. Sucky summary, awesome story, trust me.
1. Chapter 1

**Hiiii, guys... *dodges tomato throwers* Yeah, sorry for not being here for soooooo long. some things happened, this and that, school, vacation, our computer wouldn't let me log on, fanfiction deleting what i typed of Sentimental Love Ch3 T_T... it's a mess, really. For being so patient, ya'all get any candy ya want in the AnycandyHat! *throws to one person who gets mobbed by the rest of the crowd* Whoops. Welp, luckly i got most of the SL chap in my notepad (a real one, thank you), and am working on getting it up on Evernote (much more reliable ^^), then FF later. In the meantime, i might as well introduce to you a new story i had been working on during vacation and the long time between then and now. What really boosted me to write this though was alot of awesome episodes of P&F (Doofapus *SQUEE* and Where's Perry FTW!), aaand stories on here that i've never got to fave/watch on here till now. NattyMc and LuticolousMantis for example. Both their stories (allmost all yours, Natty ^^) are so awesome sauce ;) i'm dying to know what happens next in When The Platypus Met The Evil Scientist and Feelings *squee***

**I'm going to make sure to watch and/or fave stuff that i've missed and get back to work on SL, right after this. But i need to warn you guys, i might not be able to update daily, weekly, or even monthly probably. The chapters i make are looong, and i got another vacation, then school's back, then all that crap. I really will try to update ASAP each time, though, OK? :)**

**I don't own P&F, Doof, Perry, Rodney, all other dudes and dudets in this story you know in this story. Just the other craps you don't :) Now, on with the fic! *trumpets***

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"Ah, it's finished!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz stepped back to admire his handiwork. Sure it was just a fancy trap for his nemesis Perry the Platypus, but today was special. He wanted to make sure the agent would stay in his trap the whole evening. You see, that evening was the Diabolical Evil Villains United Worldwide Sweepstakes premier night, a contest to find the next lucky member of the society. Doofenshmirtz had entered months ago, and, to everyone's surprise, he had made it. The doctor, along with Rodney and 3 other villains from around the world had been picked to travel to Washington D.C. to participate in the finals. Even Doofenshmirtz couldn't believe it at first that he was now a competitor and actually going to DC.

The prize, along with being an official member of **DEVU** (look, it even had a cool acronym) was grand: A week-long vacation to any evil place you wanted in the world, a complete renovation of your evil lair, a year's supply of machine parts for -Inators, and even a new nemesis, one that would be better than your nemesis ever was, but at the same time will be defeated very easily. All these prizes were for the successful scientist; the losers get nothing. Nada. Zip Zero. Goose eggs. Sounds kinda harsh, but _hello_! Evil!

Though... Doofenshmirtz knew he would have to decline the last prize. He couldn't imagine anyone, human or animal, who could be a better nemesis than Perry the Platypus. He really didn't want another nemesis, anyway. And, well, Perry was too important to lose a third time, after Peter the Panda incident, and the almost relocation. Doofenshmirtz really couldn't bear to see him upset again, or definitely angery. Why upset? The doctor didn't really know.

_You know, this isn't really eeeevil thinking, right?_

Doof sighed. "Yeeaah. I know," he answered himself, leaning against the counter.

_Well, shouldn't you be? If you want to win, you have to get your head in the game and focus on every_ evil, despicable_ thought you can get your hands on, metaphorically speaking._

"Yeah. I shoooould. But... I can't." His mind then wandered to about a week ago. Before he found out he made it to the finals. He sighed again. It was about the matter with Perry the Platypus, and... the doctor's newfound feelings for him.

It was strange, how a usual daily skirmish could go so wrong. The enemies, while fighting, had somehow upset the latest -Inator and had caused it to explode in their faces. The weirdest feeling (that had actualy been around lately whenever Perry was around) had swelled up in the doctor seeing the platypus's alarmed face as the machine had overheated and got ready to self destruct. It was too late to get to a safe spot. They were both going to get scorched. Suddenly Doofenshmirtz didn't want the little platypus to get hurt. Before he could shake himself and think rationally, and right before the explosion, he had grabbed a startled Perry and wrapped his arms around him, shielding him from the -Inator. The force of the explosion had knocked the doctor off his feet and into a wall, where plaster and chunks of the ceiling caved down upon them. Doofenshmirtz still protected his nemesis and took the pain for him. They had been buried in the ruins of DEI top floor. Doof was all beat up and could barely move, but Perry was safe in his arms, trembling a bit from the shock. Then he had recovered and somehow dug them both out of the shambles. After checking the doctor for anything serious, Perry had left rather quickly, not saying (Er, growling) a word or even looking directly at him. The doctor felt rather mortified about the whole incident later as he picked himself up, used his Restore-DEI-Inator ray gun he kept with him at all times, and went to clean his wounds.

The next day Doof wasn't in the mood for evil. He called Monogram and somehow had convinced him so and got him to tell Perry the same. Instead of the usual, Doofenshmirtz had spent the whole day trying to come up with a solution to why he saved Perry and why was he feeling this way around him now. He wrote a lot in a diary he kept under his pillow to vent about it. Finally, after staying up 'till 1 in the morning awkwardly daydreaming about Perry in his lap, or treating him as something other than hate, Doofenshmirtz had a suggestion about what this all meant. He hated to think it was so, as he wrote in his diary, but it was the only option.

The doctor now sighed again for the third time, wondering how he was going to hide his discovery from his nemesis. Of course Perry wouldn't feel the same way back. He wasn't as crazy and disturbing as Doofenshmirtz. He wouldn't be surprised if the agent wanted to get a new nemesis if he found out. But Doofenshmirtz didn't want him to go. He wouldn't last a day without Perry. He was the only thing that kept the evil scientist alive. The only reason he hasn't given up on life yet. He was there to foil the evil doctor's schemes everyday, no matter how lame they were. He was even there to help him sometimes. Like the time Doof's hands got glued to the record scratchers and instead of letting him embarrass himself in front of his daughter and her friends, Perry used the De-Volition-Inator on him to make him a trippin' DJ. And the other time Perry had saved both Doofenshmirtz and Mr. Fluffypants from falling to their doom. And the other time the platypus had held his hand and kept him company during him retaking his driver's test. There were almost countless times Perry had saved him from drowning, falling to his doom, being blown up (welp, that didn't happen too often), and being blown up some more (kay, fine, it happened more than the doc liked), ect, ect. He was the only nemesis who had actually listened to the doctor's horrible backstories. He had helped Doof with his problems. He never really hurt him at all. Well, not too much, per say. In a way, he was actually gentle with Heinz, like he was just a little child who didn't know any better. It made Doofenshmirtz actually feel like one, which of course he didn't like. But, he guessed, it _was_ a big change from how his parents treated him.

But the point was, Doofenshmirtz loved Perry the Platypus, and it made him sad to think he could never tell him. Or anyone really. He would be shamed forever, worse than he already was now, Perry would get the hell away from him, and the world would turn it's back on him. Just because he revealed his hidden emotion.

Well. Now that he thought about it, all of that was _definitely_ not evil-thinking. But it didn't really matter, 'cause no one will know anyway. It was all in his mind, and in his diary under the bed. No one even knew he had one. Diary, that is, not a bed. Everyone knew he had a bed. Or did they?

OK, stop rambling, Heinz! Sigh, _ANYWAY._ The secret will stay safe there. In his diary. Under the bed he was sure everyone knew he had.

Today, Doofenshmirtz had made this trap extra-special. He wanted to make sure the agent would stay out of the way, yet be able to see his great victory that night. The reason was that he wanted to make sure the platypus wouldn't ruin his great victory, and he wanted to impress him. The doctor didn't want Perry to think of him as pathetic. This was his big chance. If he won, even by second place, it would show Perry that Doofenshmirtz was more evil than he thought, and he wasn't just some goof _trying_ to be evil. Maybe then he would gain a little more respect, hm? Yup, he couldn't wait.

Suddenly the door broke down and the agent just spoken of came flying in in a judo kick.

"Ahhh, Perry the Platypus, _there_ you are!" He pressed a button on his remote. Suddenly, something black came flying down on the agent and, like jaws, it clamped shut on him, trapping him inside.

Doof cackled with glee as he strutted over to his trapped nemesis. "Like it? It's a classic briefcase."

Perry's face peered through the small window in front of the case and glared.

"Whaaaat? I punched in air holes at the top so you won't suffocate. Wait, that reminds meeee..." He pressed a small button on the handle and a small door, about the size of a fist, slid open. Doof reached in and swiftly swiped the agent's fedora off his head. The door shut quickly before he could move.

"Ha! Now you can't escape without you hat full of gadgety stuff, can you?"

Perry stared incredulously.

"Oh, be quiet. I got the upper hand here, and you're trapped, so ha ha."

Doofenshmirtz picked up the briefcase. "Now, you're probably wondering what's with the fancy trap and the fact there's no -Inator in this very room, right? Well I need to get to the Danville airport before I miss my flight." He grabbed his car keys off the table and walked out the door, trapped, and perplexed, agent in hand. "I'll tell you on the way."

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"Man, can you believe how tight security was? I had to use my Invisibility Ray gun on you, Perry the Platypus." Doofenshmirtz plopped into a seat on the plane and set the briefcase next to him. "And then I had to somehow hide _that_ from them. Well, you got everything that I was saying during the page break, right?"

Perry looked slightly confused, but he nodded.

"Oh good. I almost thought I would have to explain _aaall_ of it _agaaain_. And that would just take too long." The 'Please Fasten Your Seat Belts' sign at the front lit up after everyone was in. Doofenshmirtz did so, not forgetting to strap the case down. The flight attendant walked by him, shooting him a weird look.

"Whaaat?" He said to the agent's stare. "I don't want you to _die_ before you get to see me win the DEVU Sweeps." Suddenly, Doofenshmirtz felt rather uncomfortable and turned to the window, cheeks a hint of pink.

Once they were up in the air, the doctor undid both seatbelts. "OK, it's some hours flight to DC. I dunno about you, but I'm gonna take a nap." He pulled out a pillow out of nowhere and shifted to the window to get comfortable.

Perry hesitated. Well, if it's that long, might as well get some sleep himself.

Unfortunately, it was hard to get comfortable. in the tiny space he had. He tried to slouch and bend his knees a little, but it hurt his back too much. He tried turning onto his side, but wasn't much better. Finally, he decided on sitting up more and pulling his knees to his chest and leaning against the side opposite the window in the case, using his tail as a pillow. The platypus closed his eyes and was soon asleep.

Doofenshmirtz couldn't sleep. He was too jittery about later that night. He tried fluffing up his pillow and shifting into all kinds of positions, but nothing helped. He was wide awake.

Doof wasn't sure why he should be so nervous. It should be a piece of Dookleberry cake, his favorite. If he was able to be even a competitor, he should do just fine being himself.

Unless his opponents decide to up the competition. Then he'd be in some serious jerky. Beef jerky.

Doofenshmirtz suddenly panicked. What if he arrived there to find out the opponents advanced their sinistery so much that the doctor wouldn't even be considered _evil_ anymore? What if he was disqualified for _not being evil enough?_

Doofenshmirtz started nervously kicking the back of the seat in front of him, trying to think of possibilities to at least stay in the competition. Come on, think, think-

"**Hey!**" The man sitting in front of him turned around to glare at Doofenshmirtz. "Stop kicking me, bumshead!"

"Oh, sorry," Doof said absentmindedly, his mind still on his problem. "I'm just reeeally nervous. You see, I'm a competitor in the **DEVU** Competition, and I'm afraid when I get there, they might disqualify me for not being evil enough."

"Well, if it would stop you from ripping my seat off, why don't you distract yourself and stop worrying so much, idiot?"

"Distract myself?"

"Yeah, that's what I said, moron. It always helps _me_ when _I'm_ nervous, and it keeps me from _destroying someone's seat_." The man glared as he turned around to resume doing whatever he was doing.

Doofenshmirtz thought about it. Well, maybe it would help. And it _was_ the lazy thing to do. It could be considered an evil act. So that means he could relax _and_ spread his evil about at the same time!

Genius!

The doctor smiled and laded back closing his eyes. _OK, what distracts you the most right now..._

His eyes flew open.

Greeeeeeat.

He glanced at the briefcase. Perry was the distraction of course. Especially since that embarrassing moment days ago, and the and the even more embarrassing discovery.

But he couldn't! It was vial to his evil name! He wasn't even suppose to feel this way about his nemesis. If he let himself even daydream, it might get even worse. He might fall to pieces for him. The one being he was suppose to hate...

Doofenshmirtz put his head in his hands, sighing heavily. _Well, I guess it won't hurt for one plane ride. But right after, it's back to evil... aaand my attempted hatred for Perry the Platypus..._

After a minuted of processing this in his brain, the 15 dollar doctor suddenly grew a small smile. It was as if a heavy weight had risen off his heart. He felt overwhelming relief. It felt wonderful, to think about what he wanted without feeling guilty or remorse. Doofenshmirtz peeked into the window of the briefcase trap. When he saw Perry, his smile grew wider. The platypus just looked too dang cute!

Doofenshmirtz goggled like a creep for a little more before lying back in his seat and closing his eyes, breathing deeply. He had some fantasizing, or dreaming, to do.

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**I hope i named the record scratchers right. Is that what they're called?**


	2. IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

_**IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ! INFO ABOUT MY FICS AND XMAS SPECIAL!**_

Hey, guys. I feel really bad about leaving you off of both my fics. So i'm here to give you an update on how everything's going, just so you know before Xmas.

SL Ch 4 is on its way, have it all written down. Just need to type it up on Word and get it through proofreading and it'll be ready.

TD is on hiatus. I wish it wasn't and i apologise greatly, but i have a writer's block on it. I'm still not giving up on it though, don't you all worry :)

As for the XMAS Special, you guys will wanna kill me, and i won't blame you, but i haven't been able to get much done with it. I won't give any excuses 'cause i'm tired of them, and i'm sure you are too. But i will say one thing. Rise of the Guardians has been a big part in it. I saw the movie online one day just cause i was curious, it didn't look all that great to me at first, and i fell in love with it 3 'Specialy Jack ^-^

Anywho, the X.S. first chap is almost done. Yeah. The first chap T_T I really hope you guys all forgive me, especially those of you who got their hopes up for this. I swear, i will get at least the first chap by the 24th or 25th. I swear it on the River Styx (gosh, did i spell that right? cookie to those who got the reference :) ). So, what i'll do is get as much done as possible tonight and really early tomorrow (winter break! W00T!).Then i'll be gone for the weekend and get home day before 24th. I'll spend every free minute online on the fic that day, then either post it really late 24 or really early 25. That's the plan, anyway. Oh, and if i get it done earlier than expected, i'll maybe try to get SL updated as an extra gift. How'd you like that? Please don't get your hopes up too high, though. I said maybe. Though i will still try :)

OK, so that's it. I'm sosoSO SORRY for letting any of you all down! I understand if anyone is mad at me! Flame me if you wish. Maybe it'll get me off my lazy butt more XD Keep checking my profile for any updates on stories and so. Merry Early Christmas!

~DarkDemonGirl1985~


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